creepypastafandomcom-20200222-history
Talk:Survival Guide/@comment-24828288-20160327185453
145) If you ever go spelunking with your sexy girlfriend, make sure you do NOT mock God before entering a cave called "God's Mouth." 146) If you break down in what seems to be a scene from Pyscho at 2 am, and the young man in the lounge says "Love a duck!" and the kindly old woman seems unperturbed, chances are this isn't your lively B&B. 147) When your wife is in a coma and your family are on the verge of switching off her life support, for the love of all that isn't Satanic do NOT wish upon a star. 148) Don't name your doll Robert, no matter how animated his conversations are. Robert means "bright fame" for a reason. Ask yourself if Creepy Doll Eyes or Eerily Proportioned Muppet wasn't available. 149) Nazis were impaled on trees in the Black Forest not by accident, but by a suited man in tentacles 150) If when exploring the Southern Pole and your friend blows his brains out after babbling about dark magic and a hidden city, DON'T WANDER OFF THE BOAT 151) Don't find Queen Elizabeth Elementary School unless you want to play baseball in the dark with a demon kid 152) If you find your daughter was brainwashed by an evil witch's spell at midnight and is walking out the door to meet the witch, then DON'T SHOOT THE WITCH AND BURN HER... unless you want to make mirrors your enemy 153) Don't carve the X shape into your forehead in an abandoned mental asylum unless you want to meet the Administrator 154) DON'T INVITE A CREEPY FANATICAL CHRISTIAN PRIEST TO EXORCIZE YOUR DAUGHTERS WHO HAVE BEEN POSSESSED BY SUCCUBI... unless you want to make them seduce you... 155) Never walk barefoot in a cemetery unless you want to become a sentient vine 156) If you and your brother are forced to move into an obnoxious neighbourhood where the local kids are assholes, then stay inside and preferably play videogames, be a recluse, and for the love of God don't get fucking angry 157) If a strange man in a white suit enters your church, then don't accept ANY food he gives you, no matter how starving you are. Its much better to become a tramp or beggar on the street, because then you won't have baptized Hitler the Antichrist. 158) If you find a strange ritual on the Internet describing how to speak with the Devil in a church at midnight, then do not follow through with it, instead, check the author's name to see if 666 or any other Satanic imagery appears 159) When the city scenery of New York changes inside a houseboat, its not your imagination playing tricks on you 160) When the Chinese scenery changes inside an Imperial House, its not your imagination playing tricks on you, nor is the distant conversations you can hear coming from closed off sections of this house 161) Saying anything other than Bottoms Up to the barkeep in a dingy Paris bar will forbade you from meeting the Green Fairy or visiting the Gallery of Henri Beauchamp 162) When Death asks you to enter Hell with him, if you refuse, you will not wonder what could have been, because you enter Hell to retrieve a damned soul 163) Choke that mannequinn to death with the kitten she is chewing because it will stop her egomania from saying she is God 164) In space, no one can hear you scream 165) In the city, no one can hear you scream 166) In the mountains, no one can hear you scream, even if the date is February second, 1959 167) In the oceans, no one can hear the Damned scream... 168) Keep a better eye on your daughter, chain her to her bed and drug her preferably, anything to stop her following a Charles Manson-esque cult and becoming a psychopathic zombie